親愛なる僕へ殺意をこめて

SHINAI NARU BOKU E SATSUI WO KOMETE

MANGA

STATUS
COMPLETE
VOLUMES
11
RELEASE
September 7, 2020
CHAPTERS
98

DESCRIPTION

Eiji the college-age virgin dreams of someday having a girlfriend...until he wakes up one day with his "girlfriend" in his bed with him! Not only that, his buddy tells him he got in a fight...and that three days have passed that Eiji doesn't remember? What dark secrets are being hidden...by Eiji himself?

(Source: Kodansha USA)

Note: Includes 1 epilogue chapter.

CAST

Eiji Urashima
Kyouka Yukimura
Rei Shinmyouji
Momoi
Sai Yashiro
Kiichi Urashima
Makoto Hachinoi
Kashiwagi
Saruwatari

CHAPTERS

REVIEWS

sadJoe
90/100
A highly laudable work that hasn't gotten much praise here. A superb thriller, thematically similar to Oshimi's work.

If I am going to be completely honest, this manga was a huge surprise. I stumbled upon this work by accident, as luck would have it. I decided to give it a try, and I have no regrets. It’s one of the easiest binge-reads I’ve had in a while. My aim with this review is to encourage others to give this a whirl. It is deserving of that much.

Why Has Nobody Read This?

I know that I should avoid doing it, but I tend to be of the mindset that popularity = quality. At times, it is rather difficult for this not to be my default approach. There is some logic to it, after all. Though, I don’t mean this (“this” being popularity = quality) in the sense that anything and everything that has a large fan base is of high quality and/or substance as a creative work. That much should be obvious. Be that as it may, I do think so-called “good” creative works do happen to be well-known -- more often than not -- and are generally well-received. I only say this to establish how surprised I was to discover _My Dearest Self With Malice Afterthought_. It’s a dark horse, for sure. No one I follow on AniList has even touched it
After browsing the front page of my favorite manga reading site, I noticed there was a new chapter updated for _My Dearest Self With Malice Afterthought_. The cover did happen to catch my eye, but what first drew me into this work was the title. There are a few things that a reader can assume — given the nature of the title. It gives the impression of a work with a darker, sinister theme. At least, that was how I initially felt. This presumption of mine was not a false alarm, as it has demonstrated itself to be true during my reading of the manga. Given that this is the case, I would exercise caution in approaching this work -- as it can get be a bit graphic. Though I was drawn in through the raw uniqueness of the title, I stuck around for the compelling artwork and the intricately-woven storytelling. #
Story --- In the first chapter, the reader is introduced to the protagonist: Eiji Urashima. Upon first glance, he appears to be nothing more than an average college student. He’s a tad bit socially awkward and introverted, but it is nothing out of the ordinary. He’s got a decent group of friends and a solid family/home life. He seems like a decent kid, someone who is just doing his best to head down the right path. The only concern he has in his life (within Chapter One, at least) is finding himself a girlfriend. Things are going somewhat o.k. After a night of drinking with his buddies, Eiji wakes up in a situation he has yet to find himself before. There is a woman lying next to him in his bed. Not only is she a woman, but she happens to be known as one the most attractive specimens on his university campus. Eiji, says hello to Kyoka...his new _girlfriend_. His memory evades him, as he tries to come to grips with the fact that he not only has a girlfriend in Kyoka Yukimura, but she is lying in her birthday suit right next to him. In the midst of this, Eiji is also taken back by the fact that three days have passed by since he was out drinking with his friends. Having no recollection of the three days proves to be the tip of the iceberg for Eiji. Something dormant seems to be lying in wait, as one of Eiji's friends vaguely mentions "a secret." This is the beginning of the protagonist's attempt to maneuver through this unexpected jolt in his young adult life. It's a dream come true, but there is so much more than what meets the eye. #Hajime Inoryu's Potential Influences --- If anyone asked me to compare this to something, I would feel obligated to mention the works of Shuuzou Oshimi. There is clearly an overlap, specifically in how both Inoryu and Oshimi explore the darker issues of the human condition with their writing. Based off of what I have read from the two authors, I notice that both individuals have a knack for plugging their readers into scenarios that are a root cause for intense discomfort and sound food-for-thought. I can’t speak for others, but this has been my own experience while reading their work. I’m sure that I’m not alone in this respect. #Concluding Thoughts --- There are numerous twists and turns that accompany the reader throughout the journey of _My Dearest Self With Malice Afterthought_. It is a tumultuous read — in a good way though. I would recommend this to anyone that is fond of suspense-filled thrillers, or anything else along those lines. I didn't really delve into the exact nature of the story because I do not want to give too much away. The manga has the potential to be a thoroughly enjoyable read for many; the last thing I'd want to do is inadvertently run someone else's reading experience. Though I obviously wasn't able to tell at the time, this title encapsulates the essence of the manga perfectly. I really appreciate the author’s _aforethought_. This is a great piece of storytelling. I would like to see this get a bit more traction on the site, so I can see how others feel about it. I have high praise for this work and am looking forward to anything else that both the mangaka and author may put out in the future.
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SamS3pi0l
60/100
A story with great potential, tainted by its oversaturation of plot twists and missed chances
I want to start off by saying I love stories featuring characters with any sort of mental illnesses because it adds a great depth of conflict. Now obviously the "split-personality" is not a very new concept, with its very first debut in "The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde". There's been a lot of representations of Dissociative Identity Disorder, which I'm not really that critical about because I can suspend my disbelief for enjoyment. I've seen movies and shows which dont potray the illness accurately but I still enjoy it because the conflicts the characters go through are still relateable and have depth towards them.

WARNING MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD:

So when I looked around for manga that had this as a part of a conflict, I was naturally intrigued. During the first arc where the MC, Eiji Urashima (the cheery one) was discovering the existence of his alter "B1", was great and also pretty typical. We also learn about how Eiji's biological Father is a serial killer named LL who brutally tortured and killed young girls. Already adding a bunch of conflict which I personally liked. The first arc was basically, the whole mystery around why B1 emerged to interact with gangs, and it was really fun to see the dynamic. Most of the characters were pretty say generic as there wasn't much revealed about them YET.
During the aftermath of the arc, it was revealed that Kyouka, Eiji's girlfriend only got along with him because she knew he was LL's son and admired LL since she murdered her big sister, who "supposedly" caused her to be abused. She's revealed to be the one that killed B1's "mole/rat", showing her twisted nature. This was when I started seeing the flaws within the manga. I think it would've been better if they even subtly gave some foreshadowing as to her true nature instead of keeping it completely hidden. It would've made the reveal much more well fleshed out and it just felt like the author just came up with it on the whim.

Then we're stuck with B1 as our protagonist for the remainder of the series. A douche who is very unlikeable and the complete opposite of the initial half's MC. The manga would've been a lot more unique or dynamic if they had the two alters interact with each other in some way, because we never actually see them converse together (not even through notes), and it just completely wastes a potentially incredible character plot with it. Anyway near the end of the manga, it is revealed that Eiji's adoptive father is the true LL who framed Eiji's dad and only did the murders because he was a psychopath. No hints, no foreshadowing, nothing building upto this whatsoever. It's just dropped like that. I had my suspicions on the guy ever since it was stated that he was the parole officer for the "accused LL". But goddamn it really shows that the author never really planned any of this from the start. Plot twists are made just for the sake of it, with no proper preparations or care towards it.
In the end, it is shown that Eiji Urashimi who was thought to be "killed" was probably inside him somewhere still alive. And then there's the whole B1's relationship towards Eiji as stated before has no real emotional impact or make any logical development on the character because their interactions are subpar. If they compensated this by at least putting notes/videos to interact with each other, or even tried to make it so that the other alter were aware of what was happening while one was in control and actively was able to communicate would've made Eiji's "death" a lot more impactful to not just the audience but to B1 as well. Forcing actual character growth and not some "If you kill LL you become just like him" (which is a pretty bullshit ideology at this point lets be clear)
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