わたしのアンジェラ

WATASHI NO ANGELA

MANGA

STATUS
COMPLETE
VOLUMES
Not Available
RELEASE
July 25, 2020
CHAPTERS
4

DESCRIPTION

On her way home, a young woman discovers a human-looking angel, whom she decides to welcome into her home.

CHAPTERS

REVIEWS

eruhkzor
100/100
My awakening to "reader's masochism"
__My awakening to "reader's masochism"__
Spoiler Notice

If you’re extremely averse to spoilers, it may be a good idea to avoid this review. While I won’t explicitly describe certain events, my words will reveal the kind of story this is, which is a spoiler itself. Although, I will only spoil as much as necessary to convey the appeal of this single-volume manga to those who haven’t read it.

Introduction

Looking for a fluffy, rosy girls’ love manga? This one is absolutely not for you. I truly hate to rob you of the opportunity to discover the story for yourself, but I think a warning is necessary. My first reading was an experience unlike any other, largely because I went in unaware of what to expect. However, for those sensitive to gore and tragedy, this story could be triggering, so please stop here if you feel this applies to you.

Watashi no Angela depicts a dream-like encounter in which a woman returns to her apartment to find a beautiful girl sitting on the railing outside. After the woman allows the girl to come inside, the girl reveals that she is soon to grow a pair of wings on her back, with which she could presumably take flight. As they become closer to each other, they’re forced to reckon with the cruel side of love: dependence and the overwhelming fear of loss.

Artwork

The art cannot be described with such a simple, bland word as ‘gorgeous’. This may be a doujin, but Shinoa eclipses most professional manga artists I’m familiar with. The detail in their drawings is beyond stunning.

In particular, I don’t believe I’ve ever seen such carefully-drawn hair. Every artist has their own passions, and I can feel how deeply Shinoa loves each strand atop their characters’ heads. It’s also fascinating how the two are distinguished. The woman’s disorderly black mess stands in symbolic contrast to the girl’s light, fluffy hair.

Also, the girl’s angel wings are magnificent; they have such an elegant contour and a soft, feathery texture. I’d guess that the idea for this story was born out of Shinoa’s simple desire to draw a pretty angel, and I have zero problems with that.

Beneath their bangs can be found surprisingly deep and expressive eyes. Even when the characters struggle to communicate with each other, their emotions are revealed in their gem-like irises.

This manga is a masterclass in luring the reader in. The 3-page prologue chapter contains just enough to hook you, and the art is key. A few beautiful panels, a brief taste of the premise, and I was immediately sold on it. Now, I’d recognize Shinoa’s distinguished style anywhere.

Writing

Now we’ve reached the part where I explain the new term I coined in the review summary: reader’s masochism. Watashi no Angela lead me to discover this part of myself that I hadn’t recognized before. This kind of story has a way of staving away apathy. When you start to feel empty inside, reading something that makes you feel so much can be a relief, even if those emotions aren’t necessarily happy. When I read a story, I love when it hurts. I want to agonize over it long after I finish, sobbing uncontrollably, and oh how I did with this one.

Shinoa’s writing is more than enough to live up to their art. Most of this manga is defined by intimate moments between our two nameless characters, which offer a glimpse into how their feelings toward each other change as the story progresses.

"Are you always looking at the sky because you're longing for its embrace?"

For example, we can see their attachment shift from benevolent to something more dark through the subtle ways they talk to each other. In the first chapter, their interactions are so warm and flowery, the 'honeymoon phase' of the relationship.

“I want to be there when you grow your wings.”

Then in the second chapter, the tone shifts, slowly unveiling the woman’s deep anxiety. I’ll never forget the way I felt at the climax. As soon as I saw that panel, I couldn’t take my eyes off the pages. I remember being so shaken that I put my hand over my eyes and kept reading through the cracks in my fingers, afraid to continue but unable to look away.

“I will never, ever... let you go.”

Why did this sudden sharp turn work so unbelievably well? That’s because Shinoa kept their cards hidden until that very moment. They placed hints along the way, but only enough for the reader to grasp that something had changed after the girl sprouted her wings. It wasn’t until the climax that everything made complete sense. This had to be deliberate, a conscious writing choice to make the story appear normal until it melts down completely in the coolest way.

A side note: when I re-read the manga to write this review, I picked up on clues to the ending that didn’t stand out to me the first time. I always appreciate this type of story that has amazing repeat value.

Without spoiling it, I really love how the ending is open for interpretation. Some things about the story are non-negotiable, such as the gravity of what happened, but there are multiple ways to imagine the characters’ lives continuing past the end. It could be a question of morals, or simply how you perceive the characters’ feelings. The third chapter (the epilogue) does a phenomenal job of ending the story in a way that makes you reflect.

Conclusion

It’s only natural that love would be a connecting theme throughout a romance, but Watashi no Angela dives head-first into the deep end. It offers a thoughtful yet gruesome perspective on the way love can bring about paralyzing fear. There’s something deeply poetic in how the woman, whose thoughts are conveyed in first person, sees the girl as an angel, but deprecates herself as a normal human. It’s something many couples can relate to, putting your partner on a pedestal while they do the same to you. As told by Shinoa, love is the messy mixture of all of those feelings: admiration, jealousy, and everything in between.

To me, this is a masterpiece. I love the artwork and the multi-faceted story, but its depth and deception set it apart from the rest. I wouldn’t presume to understand all of it, there are some parts and symbols that I still haven’t processed. Regardless, it was the manga that inspired me to write my first full-length review. As I decided to avoid too much spoiling, I said less than I would’ve liked to. However, one of my goals for this review was to draw more attention to this incredible gem. I hope I’ve conveyed my appreciation for it enough to interest you in reading it. If you plan to, I hope you enjoy the pain as much as I did.
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